Yoonseo...? It's Cindy

As I read "The Namesake", I feel Gogol's desire to change his name to Nikhil for I desperately want to change my name. My legal name is Yoon Seo. In Korean, it is spelled 윤서. "Yoon" means to shine brightly and "Seo" means peace and serenity. Like the Bengali tradition, my grandmother chose my name before I was conceived. My name was chosen with great thought and debate. When I lived in Korea, I was complimented by strangers because of my name. They all said it was so beautiful and unique. I loved my name. In fact, I adored my name... until I came to the United States.

The moment my third grade teacher called out my legal name in class, I jumped out of my seat for I was embarrassed and disgusted by how my name sounded in English pronunciation. Unable to bear the embarrassment I asked my teacher to call me "Cindy". It was the only name my parents and I can think of. My mom picked it out because she was an avid fan of Cindy McCain. However, I knew that "Cindy" did not suit me at all. Ever since, third grade, I go with Cindy. And every time I start off a new year, I have to go up to my teacher and tell them, "I go with Cindy. NOT Yoonseo." And of course, they ask how it is pronounced. I tell them how it is pronounced, but all I hear is "Yonsei?".  Living in the U.S. made me despise my legal name, for it became a common joke among my friends and a burden I had to carry wherever I go. I used to love my name, but I don't know what happened, but I know for sure that "Cindy" will never be my name. It never felt right. In "The Namesake" Gogol feels as if he is a person of two characteristics. Like Gogol, I am at times Cindy and other times, Yoonseo.